Ever said a part of me feels like this, but another part feels like that? You’re not kidding! We all have different parts of ourselves that live inside us. When you recognize that every part of you is trying to protect you from feeling your wounds, you start having an appreciation for them. All of them – the critic, manager, perfectionist, fighter, the angry beast, the lover, the pretender, the part of you that wants out of feeling anything.
Love them, appreciate them, and give them a voice. Listen to the parts of you trying to get your attention without telling them they should be different. Thank them all for caring so much.
I was gifted with a release today – into freedom. I recognized how engaged my hypervigilant protector is and how it thinks everyone needs to be vetted over and over. How it makes up stories and meanings and makes assessments based on the way other people show up in the world. I saw its mechanics. How it came to be and how much I needed it to survive when I was little.
It saved my life when I was younger and still hasn’t disengaged. Today it did. Today that part of me relaxed. That’s a big wow. Huge. What made it relax? Yesterday I checked out a perception instead of running with it. I asked a scary question, received a not-so-scary answer and did not die in the process.
The release didn’t happen overnight, based on just one incident. Every time I treated myself with compassion instead of vitriol. Whenever I took action to unravel an erroneous perception, whenever I didn’t believe the stories my brain told me, looking to prove its negative beliefs from the past, I was one step closer to trusting myself.
Freedom* for me is knowing that I’m safe in my body and on the planet. That I can ask any question, hear any answer and make choices and take actions based on who I’ve grown into, not from my still terrified of being in the world inner child that needs protection. She might still get scared now and again. But she doesn’t live afraid. She knows I have her back.
I am in awe of what can be. Fucking wow.
If you want to find your wow, I can help.
*I need to say that when I talk about freedom, I recognize what’s happening in our country. The more inner work we do, the more freedom we find within ourselves can only add to our strength and voices for battling the supreme dinosaurs.